Daylight Savings as WMD

By any other name messing with the clock is DST and when you mess with something there are always consequences!

Benjamin Franklin in 1784 was the first person manifest this phenomenal thought purely as a joke on the French. He was the American Ambassador to the court Louis X??? at the time and poked fun at the aristocratic laziness and propensity for partying up all night. They thought he was cute and cuddly. No one at the time could appreciate his intellect of extra-terrestrial proportions and wrote it off merely to his Masonic musings.

The idea disappeared off the radar until some Brit aristocratic duffer in 1905, Wm. Willet, invented the term Daylight Savings Time and thought he had a ‘in’ at the House of Commons to legislate in favour of all poof golfers to give them time to finish their games before the clubhouse bar closed. It was narrowly defeated.

Not until Spring 1916 during WW I did the German’s hatch a fiendish plan to catch everyone with their pants down, if they had any pants to speak of, and turned their clocks ahead to get the jump on the rest of the world. Who would have thought that a Weapon of Mass Destruction could be so simple as that. The Brits never recovered for another 21 days and were forced to turn their clocks ahead to match. The golfers were delighted! The US as usual held back on the war efforts and changed theirs at the end of WW I but was aborted soon after in 1919 by angry farmers despite another powerful golfer in favour of the American wealthy class trying to veto return to Nature’s intention.

My but times have changed! Or have they? There’s always some screwball that the powerful can hang up in front of them, either to fly or die, and Bush is their guy. What he wouldn’t do for that extra hour of vacation on the ranch at Crawford Texas. A firm believer in Gen. 1:26-31, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth’ .......

But!

This must be an abomination, as we have not succeeded in convincing the plants to spring forward or back, the cat still wants his breakfast and the dog needs to pee; farm life still proceeds against his God-given wishes. Try to tell this to a farmer let alone sell it to him. Keep in mind Bush is not a farmer he is a rancher.

Neither is he a geek. My computer operating system, Windows, ignores the new shift, and coincidentally, so does Harper’s Ministry of Finance in Ottawa which has been shut down for 2 weeks plus trying to figure out why it can’t access all those income tax refund cheques that the poorest of us have been waiting for. It’s been ignoring everything! Who should we blame? PM Harper? Flaherty, Min of Fin? Yes, partly. Which points the finger right back to Bush. Or better yet, sighting down their ass-cracks.

That brings us back full circle to the first use of DST. Just as Germany used the DST in WW I as a surprise WMD naturally, Bush is using it in his *WOT. WHAT? Yes WOT. Not only that, it is a payback to the Frankenfood Industry, Monsanto, Cargill, Pepsi, etc for destabilising what remains of the global competition.

* War on Terror

And lastly who do you imagine could mastermind this intricate threading of micro-events? God? Harper? Bush?

Remember Benjamin Franklin?

Was that a meteor I just saw?